This is I, my fellow cats––Freddie. I am just waking up from a nap; naturally, as you all know, my life as a cat is all too fascinating, so I need my breaks. I take one every day now at what I have come to learn is Nadine and Sabine’s office––the center of what I think is a secret human area project for Cat Utopia––Bard College Berlin. Yes, I had my suspicions… and now I have proof.
It all started one day as I sneaked in the garden of what the humans still refer to in code––P24. The garden has a wooden birdhouse––for the cat that needs an easy-to-make afternoon snack, which is just challenging enough to get so that it is sufficiently interesting to be pursued as food rather than a present to the humans. The house’s wood frame and its height are also perrrrfect for the appropriate claw filing before snacking.
To the right from the birdhouse is Sabine and Nadine’s office. They welcomed me immediately and in due time constructed the perfect bed, the feline favorite––a carton box that can be both a resting place and an art project involving careful and passionate reconstruction…
…As you can see, this time around I have a 1/6 bitten-right-lower-corner Bauhaus going on… Anyways… As I went on to explore the outskirts of this human box, which the humans call “office” (which is inside a bigger box and definitely needs more carton to be more aesthetically pleasing), I overheard a conversation about “The Factory.”
What is this “The Factory” ?
Hey… wait… what do we have here?
Yay! Prrrrrr… The humans around here know how to entertain a cat, I’ll grant them that.
Oh, human, NO… get this away from me… the humans in this area are too zealous to pet a cat. It’s like they need us… The male human wanted me to follow him. (Sure, he did not say it, but his shoes, as well as those of his friend did the talking, you know what I mean.) I decided to take a chance with him.
It seemed that this was “The Factory”. Once I was here, there was no turning back.
I first entered a space filled with a web made of yarn. YARN! WEB! Arrrrrrrrrre you kidding me!!! I must proudly declare to the cat nation that it took me about 5 cat minutes to take it all down, turn it into one giant ball, chew on it for a while, and get bored. So I moved on.
I entered what my whiskers told me is “Sam Stevens’ studio.” This one had enough carton to be a nice human box… finally one human who knows how to do it the proper way…
I saw more carton toys and more boxes and a lot of handmade paper books… did he know I was coming? Hmmmrrrrr…
Sam, the male human, seems to also like to get his claws in paper and carton to make art… he gets us, he really does…
I then went to another “studio”… and saw this… My senses told me that Daisy made this box to project shadow-pictures on the wall which, obviously, she wanted to chase. I did not know that humans not only like to make carton box constructions, but also live in them as well… and entertain themselves with chasing shapes… mmmrrrintterrresting.
I then saw this invention. Paint on the floor, paper, marbles… making art as the result of making a mess by playing with a tiny, tiny ball. So beautiful. So catsy. I moved my whiskers twice in approval.
And then… this…
I helped the human make art… they still need our help: they have just started using yarn, carton, and marbles. We, cats, need to teach them…
I got tired of all the playing, so I decided to look for a place to take a deserved rest. I saw this female human in P98a. I liked her bag…. I liked her bag a lot…. rrrrest…
My attempts to rest in her bag were thwarted but I did get a good pet. She had a kitty toy in her head. I kindly offered to remove it. I do not think she understood. Note to self: humans let you deal with their kitty toys if they are on their shoes but not if they are on their head.
The struggle to help the human made me hungry, so I followed the scent of the humans that I met in the area to a place further below, beyond the territory of the white-orange stripped cat. It was far but worth it. They went to a place with a lot of food. A male human tried to feed me a carrot. Why, human… why?
Another female human offered what seemed initially a nice mouse brain but turned out to be a walnut. Why… I am beginning to suspect that the humans do not take enough breaks from their play in carton and non-carton boxes, so they are not very functional in the evening (when one is supposed to be most functional). I am now certain they do need our cat help. They have constructed this place because they want to learn… they want to learn how to be more cat-like. They are inviting us.
But before we can help, my fellow felines, we can take a break.
Maria, I thank you very much for this blog post. I love cats, and totally understood every statement and picture that went through. Very, very creative. All the “human” comments made me laugh.