Lolmythesis: BCB Edition

This compilation is inspired by the blog Lolmythesis, in which contributors are asked to “sum up years of work in a single sentence.” I asked BCB seniors to make similar one-sentence spins on their theses after a year of hard work. Fear not, the real theses are far more academically rigorous than portrayed below.

April Horoscopes!

Taurus (April 20—May 20): Another year older, and yet still so much left to learn. Maybe you’d pick up a little more knowledge if you paused, took a deep breath and—wow, look at that! Someone besides you is talking. Let it happen a few times, just for fun. April Fool’s Prank: A day of silence.

March Horoscopes!

Aries (March 21—April 19): It’s your time to shine, Aries, although I don’t see how that’s different from any other month. Maybe you should do everyone a favor and be a little less . . . yourself this month. Lucky numbers: the low value, quiet ones Taurus (April 20—May 20): You’re naturally stubborn in your

February Horoscopes!

Pisces (February 19—March 20): Happy birthday, Pisces! As Jupiter oscillates in a random direction, you’ll experience surges of rage and suspicion. There’s no reason to rationalize these feelings. Channel them into a subtle passive-aggressiveness that will keep your friends on their toes. Compatible partner: Scorpio Aries (March 21—April 19): Two months into the year, and

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